It’s 1999. I’m flipping through the channels while sitting in the lounge of my college dorm hall and I take pause on MTV. There on TV I find this tight body in a short skirt and tied up button down shirt doing her best naughty school girl impression all while moaning the words “hit me baby one more time”. I was intrigued. This is of course before the wonder that is YouTube and so we wait until it comes on again and yes, it is what I thought it was. Glorious. Who was this naughy tramp flailing around my TV screen? Her name was Britney Spears, a new comer on the bubble gum pop scene and little did we know but this was only the beginning of a very long and tragic train wreck of a life.
Flash forward, January 3 2004 - Vegas. The first of many very bad decisions by Britney and the first time the public cocked their head in that weird - “What the hell were you thinking” way that we all do when we just want to say, hey - what the hell were you thinking!? Spears married childhood friend Jason Allen Alexander. It lasted 55 hours and then it was annulled. The official reason speaks VOLUMES. “Spears “lacked understanding of her actions to the extent that she was incapable of agreeing to marriage because before entering into the marriage the Plaintiff and Defendant did not know each others’ likes and dislikes, each others’ desires to have or not have children, and each other’s desires as to State of residency.”" This would end up being a pattern for Spears - engaging in activities that she did not have full understanding of, or at least a clear understanding of the consequences of her actions.
Following the whirlwind marriage/annulment to Jason Alexander, Spears became involved in the Kabbalah Centre, mostly through her friendship with Madonna. This was another “What the hell were you thinking” moment by the public - alarms were sounding - our naughty school girl has lost her mind. It wasn’t meant to last however and in 2006, stating on her website; “I no longer study Kaballah, my baby is my religion.” Spears was slowly confirming what we have all been suspecting. She was out of her damn mind.
July 2004 - enter stage right, K-Fed.
Spears announces her engagement to Kevin Federline, three months after they met. Federline, had recently been in a relationship with actress Shar Jackson, who was eight months pregnant with their second child. This of course prompted most of the world to believe - “well of course - this trailer trash has corrupted our beautiful, naughty school girl - why would she ever chose HIM! He is as dumb as a brick and is a bag of douche!”. The courting stages would be covered in extensive detail, much to the horror of television watchers around the world on UPN’s reality TV show, Chaotic. Seven months later, Britney announces she is pregnant - On Sept 14, 2005 the world welcomes Sean Preston Federline to the world. She announced her second pregnancy in May 2006, oops, she did it again.
Various escapades continue to plague Spears - Driving with her son on her lap while pregnant and being chased by photogs, posing nude for the August 2006 cover of Harper’s Bazaar, her continuing existence with Kevin Federline.
November 7, 2006. Britney files for divorce from Kevin Federline. The world breaths a sigh of relief - finally we are getting our pop princess back! No. Too bad, so sad - please try again. This was the beginning of the end, and to top it off, K fucking Fed ends up the better person. Take that judgmental world!
February 17, 2007 - Britney Spears walks into a hair salon in Tarzana, California and requests that her head be shaved. When they refused, she shaved her head bald with electric clippers.
Over the next few months, Britney would attack cars with umbrellas, show her cooch to the world on multiple occasions and eventually it seems, gives up on under garments in general. Through this, Kevin and Britney fought the good fight as to which parent was more fit to raise their two boys. Friends and associates were subpoenaed to testify to Spears parenting skills.
In September 2007, the official findings in Spears’s custody battle were announced by the court. She was ordered to undergo random drug and alcohol testings and to attend parenting counseling. Spears and Federline continued to share joint custody of their two children on a conditional basis. - By October first, through various crazy endeavors and hit-and-run allegations, Spears loses custody of her children permanently to Kevin Federline.
January 3, 2008 - Britney Spears has locked herself in the bedroom and refuses to give up her kids to Federlines reps. She is eventually gives up and is taken to Cedars-Sinai Medical Center, after she “appeared to be under the influence of an unknown substance,”. She was held for evaluation for 2 days, the legal limit in which to hold someone against their will.
Pending a February 19 hearing, Commissioner Scott Gordon issued an order on January 14 stating that her visitation rights have been suspended indefinitely. On January 31, a Court placed Spears under temporary conservatorship of her father James Spears, giving him complete control of her assets. As a result of an order placed by her psychiatrist, she was taken to UCLA Medical Center to be put on a 5150 Involuntary psychiatric hold for the second time that month. She was further held under the 5250 California Welfare and Institutions regulations. On February 1, a restraining order was issued against Sam Lutfi, her live in manager.
She was released from hospital on February 6.
What comes of Britney now is nothing but a mystery as this story has taken such a wild turn that her parents are very much concerned with the welfare of their daughter.
Do you think Britney will end up committing suicide, or will the former pop princess get the help she so desperately needs?
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